Slaying the Wolf Inside

(Movie still from "The Chronicles of Narnia: The Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe," 2005

...Also known as the best movie in all existence, thankyouverymuch)

     It’s almost New Year’s Day. That magical time of year where we all start making resolutions…to promptly forget them in about two days. It’s a time-honored tradition: there’s even a study that says that January 17th is the longest people usually make it!

  But this year, I want to challenge you. No, not on going through with your resolution. Well, not exactly. There’s something else that you can do in preparation for the new year.

  Starting a new year is not just about beginning new things. New habits, new people, new jobs or so on. The new year is also closing the old. And, truth be told, we’re all probably holding onto some old baggage that we should toss out. Not just on New Year’s Day, but every day.

  We all have some kind of sin, some kind of past, some kind of regret, some kind of mistake, some kind of attitude that cripples us. It lurks in the back of our mind like a wolf pacing about in its cage, ready to devour us should we let it out. To defeat this wolf, it takes intentionality. It takes dedication, a resolve to say: I know where you draw your power from, and I will not let you steal mine. Because where that wolf draws its power from is not God. But God does have the power to overcome it. After all, John 16:33 tells us to take heart, because Jesus has already overcome the world. If He can conquer the world, He can conquer the wolf inside of you.

  Take a moment and think about what you’re running from. What you see in your life that you wish you didn’t see. The things that come between you and God.

  The pride. The deceit. The selfishness. The manipulation. The anger. The lust. The drugs. The need to fill yourself with things that are not God, to stuff the hole inside your heart with wealth, with experience, love—anything. All these false idols.

  I could prattle on and on for days. But reminding you of the wolf isn’t the point of this devotion.

  No, it’s defeating the wolf in the year to come.

  This is a battle you have to go into. This isn’t something for the faint of heart. First, you must take the armor: the Armor of God.

  It’s found in Ephesians 6:13-18. 

     “Therefore put on the full armor of God, so that when the day of evil comes, you may be able to stand your ground, and after you have done everything, to stand. Stand firm then, with the belt of truth buckled around your waist, with the breastplate of righteousness in place, and with your feet fitted with the readiness that comes from the gospel of peace. In addition to all this, take up the shield of faith, with which you can extinguish all the flaming arrows of the evil one. Take the helmet of salvation and the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God.
     And pray in the Spirit on all occasions with all kinds of prayers and requests. With this in mind, be alert and always keep on praying for all the Lord’s people.”

  We must take the truth, because the wolf likes to lie. It draws its power from the lies that it tells us: that we need this, that we are not this or we are too that. We must remind it that: God does not love us for what we are, but for what we aren’t. God was already aware of our wolves and sent Jesus anyway. He sent Jesus because of our wolves. He didn’t ask us to change on our own. He sent Jesus so that we wouldn’t have to. Remember Romans 5:8: “But God demonstrates His love in this: while we were still sinners, Christ died for us.”

  We need righteousness to combat the unrighteousness of our wolf. We need to know what is right before we can identify what is wrong. And we must make a commitment to do what is right before we have the strength to give up what is wrong.

  And we need the Gospel, the Word of God, to hold us together. We need the Gospel to remind us of Jesus, to give us strength and understanding. There’s a song by Switchfoot that goes like this: “I’ve got my vices, I’ve got my vice verses.” Listen to that one more time: “I’ve got my vice verses.” For every wolf that we have—every vice—there is a verse to combat it. There is a Scripture that God will use to pull us out of the muck we’re in and put us on higher ground. But if we never open up the Bible, then we’ll never know our vice verses.

  We also have to have faith that there can be change. Faith that God is enough. Remember the parable that Jesus taught, about how when we get rid of one demon it will only come back and bring even more friends if we don’t fill our head and soul with Him? (Matthew 12:43-45) If we don’t fill our hearts with God, with more faith, then the wolf will come back with a vengeance. It’s kind of like the Terminator: “I’ll be back.” We must make sure that when we kick the wolf out, we let God in.

  Don’t forget salvation, either. We can’t change the old man without remembering the new man that we have become. 2nd Corinthians 5:17 reminds us that when we confess, repent, are baptized, and receive the Holy Spirit, we are new creations. We are no longer just ourselves, just the people we were before, but we are new. We’re ourselves but clothed with Jesus’s righteousness, with His salvation. What was impossible before becomes possible, if we’ll only listen to the Holy Spirit and follow His prodding and instructions.

  Let’s not overlook verse 18: prayer. Prayer is so important in this fight. We must pray intentionally. We must pray fervently. We must pray for God to help us put down the wolf in our head. Nothing will change unless we invite God onto the battlefield.

  So go ahead and identify the wolf in your head. Call him out. Invite him to do battle, if you will, because now, you’ve got a sword. Over this year—over ever year—in every month, on every day, with every passing hour, minute, second, heartbeat—make a purposeful effort to force the wolf to lay down his weapons.

  I will lay down my false idols. I will lay down all the heavy, perfectionistic expectations I have for myself. I will lay down the names I call myself, the labels I give myself. I will surrender them to God, and by surrendering, I will fight.

  And God will help me slay the wolf.

The song for this devotion: "Burn the Ships" by For King & Country

Let this song encourage you in your fight. It will be hard, but God will fight for you and with you. He will go before you and conquer the enemies inside of you. And once you make your choice to fight, do just as this song says: burn the ships...and don’t look back. 

It Was the End of a Decade....(aka, This is Your Promised Land)

     (10 bonus points if you can figure out what song that is...)

     Lately, everyone has been reflecting on the ends of decades. We think about the change, about the future, swap memories and blessings and losses. So in the midst of the reminiscing, it occurred to me that I've been writing devotions now for a whole decade.

     The best thing about that is that God hasn't changed. The God that is here when I'm 24 was there when I was 14. He's the same God that sent the Holy Ghost when Jesus was baptized, the same God that declared, "Let there be light," and He'll be the same God when Revelation comes to pass.

     No, God hasn't changed, but my perception may have. I've learned new things, lived new lessons, met new people, challenged my own ideas. So at the end of this decade, I decided to go back in a time machine and post one of my very first devotions-- however cringy it is-- and one of my newest ones (again, however cringy it is).

In all its glory, here is a devotion I initially titled: "Ugly or Beautiful, that is the question."

Have you ever known a girl that so self-absorbed, it's sickening? She has picture after picture of herself, and she's raving about how gorgeous she is. Have you ever thought about said girl, "She is SO NOT PRETTY!"
STOP RIGHT THERE!!! DO NOT GO ANY FURTHER WITH THAT THOUGHT. MAKE A U-TURN.
God made her face.
That's right, God picked out her hair, her eyes, her nose, her mouth, her ears, her everything. He put them together, and He "wove her in her mother's womb." When you make fun of her face, you're making fun of the person that designed it-- God. You're saying, "Oh, God could have done SO much better on this girl. She's ugly!" You see that? Even if you don't say those exact words-- even if you just say, "She's not very pretty,"-- you're making fun of God's work.
You may try and phrase it nicely. But inside, you know how you feel.
Don't feel guilty-- everyone sees a girl and might at first think, "She's ugly." But don't get any farther with that thought. Don't let it boil inside of you and become your permanent feeling. If you do that, you're letting the devil get a foothold. Instead, pick out one feature you like. Tell her about that! And if there's more than one, don't stop there! Tell the girl everything you like about her, and then say: "You know, you were made beautifully for God's plan for your life. You're beautiful in God's eyes, just like we all are. God made you special, and He loves you very much."
You may find that the girl, despite her putting on airs, finds herself ugly and hideous. By saying that, you're giving her a boost of confidence.
Then look at yourself.
You've probably thought, "Oh, I'm hideous! I have too many zits. My rear's too big, my hair's too stringy, I'm not skinny enough. I'm fat, I'm ugly, and boy, could I use a makeover!"
STOP RIGHT THERE!!! DO NOT GO ANY FARTHER WITH THAT THOUGHT. MAKE A U-TURN.
You are God's creation. When you degrade yourself, you degrade God.
Now, I'm not saying that I've not had these thoughts. I have. I'm sure every girl has. But the problem is, we take it too far. We're constantly in the land of self-pity, self-degradation, self-hate.
God loves you!!! He wants to wrap his arms around you and say, "You're perfect, because I designed you this way. I love you. Please, stop calling yourself names. I love you. I made you. Don't feel insecure. I made your face, your legs, your stomach, your everything. I made it, because I like it. I love your inner beauty-- that's what counts. You're made in the images of ME, your God."
That's right, people, you're made in the image of God. We're the only thing that can claim that. So don't feel bad. You're beautiful the way you are.
God made you. He loves inner beauty, and looks at the heart, while people look at appearances. But don't worry about people-- they're only temporary. God loves every part of you, inside and out. Isn't that a great feeling?

     So there you have it, one of my very first devotions, ever. I was a lot more liberal in my italics/bold/underlined usage, that's for sure, but it's fun to see the heart of a fourteen-year-old girl who just wants to grow closer to God.
     And that's one thing that hasn't changed, either.
     It's time now to skip forward a decade. This is one of my latest devotions, which I titled: "This is Your Promised Land."

     I’m sure you’ve heard this adage: “the grass is always greener on the other side.” It’s true, isn’t it? Young kids want to be older. Adults want to be kids again. Single people want to be married. Married people want to be single. People without kids want kids. People with kids...well, you get the gist.

     If we could tally up the wishes of our hearts, I wonder how many years of our lives we’ve spent wanting to be at a different part of our lives. We cling to dreams or desires, and all the while, our promised land is passing us by.

     This isn’t some new trend. It isn’t some “Millennial” or “Gen Z” or “Boomer” problem. No-- this yearning to live on the other side of the fence goes all the way back to Adam and Eve. Think about it! They lived in Eden-- literal perfection-- and they were still like, “Hmm...I wonder if life would be better if we ate this fruit? What are we missing by staying in the Garden?”

     Things just spiraled out of control after that fateful bite. One of the most ironic moments of “the grass is always greener” comes when the Israelites were in search of the actual Promised Land. In Exodus 16, we find them bemoaning their fates...of being freed from slavery. For hundreds of years, they’d been in captivity, and when God finally rescues them, their response is basically: “Um, actually, is it okay if we go back? This whole ‘freedom’ thing isn’t for us.” They were in the desert and hungry, but they were following God. God was trying to move them towards this monumental, life-shattering blessing, and all they could think about was returning to their “comfortable” old life (remember, that old life where all their sons were slaughtered because Pharaoh feared them?). They turned their eyes away from God, His promises, and yearned for the proverbial other side of the fence (other side of the Red Sea?).

     We can roll our eyes at Adam, Eve, and the Israelites all we want, but nothing’s changed in a couple thousand years. Humans have always been whiny, and the “forbidden fruit” always seems better to us than the place where God has us.

     But God knew what He was doing back then, and He still knows what He’s doing today. We don’t need to fret over our stalled life, be envious of someone else’s life stage, or wallow in regret and self-pity. Perhaps what we see as a troubling time-- the very thing we wish to escape-- is actually God trying to bless us.

     How, you say? How could this time in your life, when all you want to be is over there, ever be something good?

     It can be good because God is omnipotent, omniscient, and omnipresent. In His awesome, infinitesimal mind, it could be that He sees the good in this situation that we can’t. Where we see boring, mundane, and aggravating, God sees potential, a garden waiting to blossom, a period in time blooming with possibilities.

     Perhaps, in this time that we hate, God is trying to teach us a lesson.

     I can’t say what lesson it is. That’s between you and God. Maybe it’s to rely on Him. Maybe it’s patience, peace, kindness, love, compassion, etc. Maybe He’s teaching you that there is a “time for everything under the sun” (Ecclesiastes 3). Perhaps it’s to be patient with yourself, to follow a new path, to be bolder in life-- there are a million things that you could glean from this time that you deem useless. But what man considers inutile, God considers invaluable. He only wants us to “be still, and know that He is God” (Psalm 46:10). He only wants us to trust Him, to hear the soft whisper on our hearts.

     Does that mean that we won’t move on from this land until we learn the lesson? Absolutely not. We can rush the process and ignore God’s prodding. We can fall out of God’s will-- we can even exit to our next “Promised Land” with His permission and still not learn something. I don’t think that God will withhold blessings because of our hard hearts-- but I do think that we will suffer.

     We will never learn to be content. We will always search for the next: the next experience, the next dream, the next desire that, if we only had, would make us happy. If we didn’t hear the whisper, we didn’t grow. God can still teach us that exact same lesson later in life, but imagine what it would have been like to have that piece of peace earlier. Like the Israelites, we may make it to the Promised Land, but not until we’ve wandered for 40 years...and even then, we may not appreciate it fully.

     I can’t lay you out a list of steps to take to be content and fulfilled in your Promised Land. That’s not my jurisdiction; thank the Lord that it belongs to Him! I can’t even tell you the lessons that you’ll learn or how to measure whether you’re content or not in your own life. I can only encourage you, push you on towards the goal. I can only help you savor the moment you’re in, close your eyes, and breathe. The presence of God is with you in whatever moment you’re in. The spirit of God is reaching down to embrace you. 

     One of my favorite analogies of God’s closeness to us comes in the Prince Caspian by C.S. Lewis, when Susan is struggling to trust Aslan and is listening to her fear-- like what continuous discontentment does to us. Aslan reassures her with, “Come, let me breathe on you. Forget them. Are you brave again?”

     Aslan’s “breath” can represent the passing of the Holy Spirit to us. Aslan is reassuring Susan, giving her a weapon to fight past her doubt. The best part is that we as believers have this gift as well. So let God breathe over you, until you can feel secure enough to say these words firmly:

     This is my Promised Land.

     Seize it. Just as God was with Joshua and Caleb, He’ll help you conquer it as well. You will have peace. You will have joy. You will have the Promised Land in the here and now.

Poisoned Words

“It is a restless evil, full of deadly poison.”

This isn’t some prophecy from a fantasy novel, about a wizard or weapon that will someday obliterate the world until the hero can defeat it.

No, in fact, what this quote is about is far more sinister.

It is far more common because we all wield it.

Far more deadly because it feels good to use it. 

And far more tempting because it is a double-edged sword, able to do good and bad and sometimes the difference is hard to tell.

It’s the tongue.

“But no human being can tame the tongue. It is a restless evil, full of deadly poison.” —James 3:8

Your words are capable of so much. Saying “I love you,” complimenting someone, praying, spreading the Gospel—all of these are so honorable and able to be used to build people up. They can make people feel strong, brighten their day, give them a light to hold on to when it is dark all around them.

But we can also yell at people. Scream at them and make them feel unimportant, small, useless, misunderstood and worthless. We can insult them. We can curse at them, mock them and ruin relationships with a few stray, unchecked words.

And every time we do one of the latter things, it’s like taking a knife and severing a bit of relationship that we’ve spent hours, days, even years building. Sometimes, it can’t be repaired. Sometimes, it just takes time. But in either scenario, it can leave both parties like they’ve just swallowed that deadly poison that James talks about.

“With the tongue we praise our Lord and Father, and with it we curse human beings, who have been made in God’s likeness. Out of the same mouth come praise and cursing. My brothers and sisters, this should not be.” —‭‭James‬ ‭3:9-10‬

This is a bleak picture when we think about it. We are so eager to turn on fellow humans, tear them down, badmouth them. Even something like using a harsh tone can be devastating to someone. And, if that person isn’t a Christian, to have you turn around and praise God can make them angry, leave them with a bitter taste in their mouth about Christians.

This can all sound rather bleak. And, in reality, it is. It should remind us of how messed up we can be at our core, no matter how desperately we want to be otherwise. Even James offers this: 

“We all stumble in many ways. Anyone who is never at fault in what they say is perfect, able to keep their whole body in check.” —‭‭James‬ ‭3:2‬ 

The good news, though, is that the heart of the doctrine of Christianity doesn't hinge on us being perfect. In fact, the exact opposite is true. Our lousy, imperfect, messed up lives are the reason that we need Jesus, why we needed His sacrifice: His death and Resurrection.

Hallelujah-- we're all stupid, lousy, people, but at least we have a Savior that isn't! And part of being a stupid, lousy human means that, like it or not, our tongue will run away from us sometimes. But when that happens, it’s good to have some antidotes in our arsenal to combat its poison.

• Remember that if you were perfect, you wouldn’t need Jesus.
• That may not sound encouraging, but when you’ve just failed, there’s a strange kind of peace to know that Jesus doesn’t require you to be perfect. That’s why He came for you. You know, as Paul says: “while we were still sinners, Christ died for us.” He doesn’t say: “Christ came for the people that were already saved.” Even Jesus said that the healthy don’t need the doctor, but the sick. 
• Verse to remind you that you’re not alone in your struggles: “I do not understand what I do. For what I want to do I do not do, but what I hate I do.” —‭‭Romans‬ ‭7:15‬

• In the heat of the moment, stop and think about what you’re saying.
• Okay, sometimes we don’t even do this. Sometimes the words just fly off our tongue, but sometimes, in the back of our minds, we do recognize what we’re about to say has no value. We even plot out our attacks and try and find the best way to hurt someone in our anger. If, for even a second, you’re cognizant that what you’re about to say is poisonous, stop and think!
• Verses to remind you to keep your tongue in check in the heat of the moment: “Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen…be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you.” —Ephesians 4:29, 32

• Keep your heart in check.
• Before you say anything, examine your attitude. This goes hand in hand with the previous bullet point. Why do you want to say what you’re about to say? Are you angry? Hurting? Grumpy? Annoyed or aggravated? Not too many good things come out of us when we don’t have a rein on our emotions and our wayward hearts. Before we open our mouths, check our hearts and make sure that we have good motives.
• Verse to help us remember to check our hearts: “The heart is deceitful above all things, and desperately sick; who can understand it?” —Jeremiah 17:9

• If you’ve already let the poison darts fly, apologize.
• The words “I’m sorry” may seem trite, but really, they’re an excellent start to making amends. Especially when you truly, genuinely, mean it and are honestly trying to make amends. It may take time for the person to heal, for the bridge between you two to be mended, but recognizing the fact that you aren’t perfect and want to take ownership of your wayward words is a step in the right direction.
• Verses to remind us to apologize and forgive: “If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.” —1 John 1:9

• Move forward without grudges or guilt.
• Once harsh words have been spoken, it’s tempting to wallow in either grudges or guilt. Grudges at being wronged. Grudges about how the other person acted or how the situation played out. On the other hand, we can be consumed by guilt. It haunts us, reminding us constantly about our careless words, the pain we inflicted on someone else. Both of these are impediments to rebuilding strong relationships. Once the apology has been said and forgiveness has been given, the best thing for both parties is to move forward, praying about the relationship and trying to do what is healthy and best for both parties. It’s a case by case scenario, not a "one-size-fits-all." But, if at all possible, work towards the reconciliation that God has for you. And just as God keeps no records of wrongs once He’s forgiven us, let’s try and do the same.
• Verses to remind us to be gentle and forgiving: “Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you.” —Ephesians 4:32

     

Well, there you have it. Five simple points to always have the tongue tamed and never put your foot in your mouth again!

     Riiiight.

     Of course, this isn’t a miracle, step-by-step way to live in peace with everyone. But being aware of how dangerous our tongue can help us inch towards being like Jesus. And after all, it’s only by His mercy at all that we can accomplish taming our perfidious, poisonous tongue.